Kids . . . Yah Gotta Love 'Em

It’s been a hectic week, with a sick one in tow and missing several days of work. I did very little writing, but that’s the way it goes sometimes.

In weeks like this I look for little nuggets of laughter to carry me from day to day. I share with you a couple of them now:

My son has been ill most of the week with a fever, cough and ear infection. When little ones are sick they become wimpy lumps of flesh—much like most grown men. My son is NOT like this. Though he was down at times, he was still hyper and active. The two of us sat in the recliner, he on my right, a blanket on his legs, juice in one hand. Sid the Science Kid played on the television. Out of the blue my son makes a statement.

“Daddy,” he said. “I want to beat you up.”

He followed this statement with an elbow to my stomach.

He caught me off guard, to say the least.

“I thought you weren’t feeling well,” I said.

“I’m better. I’m going to beat you up.”

Another elbow followed.

And, this is the way it is when my youngest is sick—ill until he has an opportunity for a sucker punch.

***

My daughter is in love with Nick Jonas. Yes, my eight year old is in love with a “rock star.”

I guess that’s okay. Better than being in love with Manson, eh?

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As we all know, it is October, and October means Halloween. What better song than ‘This is Halloween’ by Marilyn Manson than to celebrate the coolest ‘holiday’ of the year?



***

Speaking of Halloween, my sister asked my niece and nephews what they wish to be for Halloween.

“I want to be a vampire,” Annemarie, the oldest, said.

Okay, as long as she doesn’t sparkle, I guess that is okay.

John, the four year old said, “Turn on ‘Can’t Stop,’” by Red Hot Chili Peppers. Anna complied. John immediately pointed to John Frusciante, the guitarist. Okay, that’s easy enough.

Then she turned to Ben, the middle child. At seven, Ben is somewhat of a follower and has a hard time making decisions. So, when it came time for him to answer, he was less inclined to give his own thoughts.

“Ben, what do you want to be for Halloween?” my sister asked.

He shrugged. “Annemarie has a good idea, so I’ll do that.”

My sister, ever the patient one, rolled her eyes and knelt down (not that she really needed to kneel down, she is two inches under five feet tall—I don’t care what she says). “Ben, I want to know what YOU want to be for Halloween.”

Ben has an evil smile. He gives her this particular smile, his eyes gleam and he says, “I want to be a whoopee cushion.”

I’m so proud of him. . .

***

The State Fair has arrived here in not so sunny South Carolina. Catherine and I took the kids on this gray, cool day. The corn dogs were great, as were the Fiske Fries. Chloe did the rock climbing, which surprised me. Though she didn’t make it to the top, she did go almost all the way up. She made the mistake of looking down and became scared when she realized how high up she was.

Logan perked up after being sick all week and rode as many rides as he could, some of them half a dozen times. They both rode the children’s roller coasters—several times. As a parent, I get more enjoyment and fulfillment out of watching my children have fun.

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Did I mention my daughter loves Nick Jonas?

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My dog has Extreme ADD. Seriously. She has no attention span what so ever.

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Chloe held a book in her hands and read off several jokes. If you know my daughter, you also know that she is matter of fact when she is reading, especially jokes from books.

She read, “What type of phone does the ocean have?”

I confess, most of these types of jokes I don’t know. Kids jokes. They are so simple, they are brilliant.

“I don’t know,” I said and leaned back in my desk chair.

“Shell Phones,” she said, her eyebrows rose, her head swiveling. “Duhhhh… Get it Cell phone, shell phone?”

That’s my daughter.

Did I mention my daughter loves Nick Jonas?

***

A free concert series has started on the grounds of the historic Columbia Motor Speedway. One of my favorite local bands played last night in the open field that used to be the racetrack. There was beer for the drinkers and food for the eaters and, well, not much for the children.

I guess it was like Woodstock, but without the weed…

***

I would like to throw out a promotion for Cutting Block Press’ new collection, Butcher Shop Quartet Volume II. For a glimpse of the book, read further:

The Breach, by Greggard Pennance

Jared, one of the few survivors from the crash of flight 319, is visited in his dreams by one of the perished passengers. Needing answers, he is drawn to the site of the wreckage -- 140 feet deep in the Atlantic. What Jared finds there is beyond extraordinary, and it sets him on a path to make choices that will determine much more than his own fate.

Road Rash, by Simon Janus

After a botched bank robbery in which the rest of his team is lost, Straley escapes on foot. Toting the loot, he is desperate for a set of wheels. Then his luck seems to turn his way, as he finds the car he needs, but soon he learns that it has come at a terrible price - in acquiring it, he's contracted an aggressive skin rash, and soon it is ravaging his body. When he receives his diagnosis, a terrible curse, he learns that he must use up the last of his loot in attempt to rid himself of this infliction. He must journey into the depths of Central America, where he will find the answer he needs … or doesn't need.

Bodies Raining, by Rick J. Brown.

As a young boy, Corey is the only witness to an atmospheric miracle that will signal the beginning of the end of civilization. Years later, after a virulent disease has ravaged the Earth, and with no safe way to dispose of the corpses, Corey must leave his wife to work in space as a 'body dropper'. While human corpses pile up on the surface of the moon, he is sent to the surface to unravel a mystery. There Corey finds that even the most unimaginable of events can be natural, up to and including personal vengeance.

Condemned, Written by Vince Churchill, Story by Ray Brown (R. Lenard Brown)

In a blink the world changes, but Quentin is too busy having illicit sex to notice. It isn't long before things in the Midwestern town of Benson become strange. People are different, neighbors violent. He learns that the Rapture has occurred, and that he was mistakenly left behind. As all Hell breaks loose, Quentin finds himself in the race of his life, and he has one chance to reclaim his salvation. Accompanied by two gun-toting preachers, he must reach the Church of the First God before sunrise, and all that stands in his way is a long night and the enraged souls of the damned.

Check it out at:

Butcher Shop Quartet II

***

Did I mention my daughter loves Nick Jonas?

For now, I’m AJ and I’m out…